The Book of Matthew (cont.)

So I have learned something about myself today. When I sit down and read I see letters and those letters form words and those words form sentences. My eyes see the sentences and my mind reads them. But I do not always hear what the words are saying. Sometimes when I read, there are two things happening. One is that I am reading and another is that there is usually a jumbled mess bouncing around in my head at the same time.

Perhaps its ADD and I need drugs......

So today, before even finishing The Book of Matthew, I went back to the beginning and started again. I cleared my mind and actually read. I got to The Beatitudes and really read them, I am gonna be honest...

Some of them (if not all of them) are scary....

They are scary to me because I realize that as a human being I can't follow all of them. I mean Murder is obvious and I don't ever plan on killing anyone, I think I can handle that one. I go down through and read Eye for an Eye and I think to myself, if someone punches me in the face, I am gonna punch them back (for those of you who know me, you know that I would really curl up in the fetal position). The big one for me is Love Your Enemies. It is a very hard thing for me to love someone I hate or someone that has made me mad. I mean isn't it for you?

Then there is the big one: Judging Others....

I will be honest with you (maybe even offend you).....I judge people almost everyday....without even thinking about it. That scares me. I don't wanna be that way and most of the time I catch myself right after I have done it but the truth is.....I judge people.

I don't know if I can be the person Jesus wants me to be and that is scary.

I am in hopes that as I read further I can begin to better myself as a person, as a child of God.

The Book of Matthew

Disclaimer: My knowledge of The Bible extends about as far as my arms after I have slept on them all night long.

So, if I offend anyone, my apologies....

Jesus was a smart man.....

Let's discuss The Beatitudes, shall we?

If I am not mistaken, there are twenty. (We all know that I am never mistaken.) Some I understand better than others and some I have to read more than once to fully grasp the meaning. My problem is that I take everything very literally, so for instance, when I read about Adultery I got a little scared. I mean, who wants to gouge there eye out and throw it away, I don't. So I discussed this one with my wife.
Have you ever been shopping or at work minding your own business when you look up and see someone attractive? I read about adultery the first time and thought I was gonna have to gouge my eyes out and throw them away. Then I read it again....when I look at another woman "Lustfully". I think everyone can say that one time or another you have noticed someone (other than your significant other) who is attractive. My wife says there is a difference between seeing someone who is beautiful or pretty, or seeing someone and thinking "Lustfully".

I can keep my eyes....

Let me say that I love my wife very much and that it is because of her that I am not a cigarette smoking alcoholic AND to me, she is the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on. I can however look at other people and see that they are beautiful as well.

I apologize for my lack of writing skills and if anything I am writing doesn't make any sense. I am in hopes that if I keep this going that I may get better. The purpose of this is that I may write about what is going on in my head while I begin reading The New Testament. I am also hoping that you as the reader will give your input and thoughts on whatever subject I write about. My post may also be short (like my attention span).

P.S. I wrote this whole post with one finger......I really did. I have Lukas to thank for that.....

My Struggle With The Bible

In life many people struggle with many things. I am one of those people. Out of all the things I struggle with I have chosen one to share with you and that is why I have started this blog. First let me start with saying, I suck at writing. So bear with me.

My struggle over the past few years has been the Bible. I have started reading the Bible countless times. So many times in fact that I SHOULD know Genesis by heart, but I don't. The last time I began reading I managed to read Exodus AND Leviticus....then I got to Numbers, followed by video games (which is not a book in the Bible).

I have decided to begin my reading now with The New Testament. In doing so I plan to write about what I have read and hope you as the reader will give your input as well. This I hope will get me on track to do something that I want to do....read the Word of God.